to the mines
How do I feel about work? When I get up at the crack of dawn and check my email and see my to-do list?
I keep thinking, "How dare my job interfere with what I should be doing" - the reading, the writing, the researching. How dare I be forced to spend 6+ hours there each day? How dare I pretend to care? I have better things to be doing!
Yesterday was my first department meeting without Mr. Principal Man, and let's just say it's an unhappy crowd. Everything I've bitched about here, they ranted about at length. I can at least say, "Self, you'll be outta here in 16 weeks" - but they see no light at the end of the tunnel. Mr. PM just adds layer upon layer of "good idea gone bad" upon what is already an overstretched 45 minutes.
I face a dilemma every day - whose wishes do I follow? If it's the kids', then we'd sit around talking about partying all day long. OK, not those wishes. If it's the principal's, then we rush through one badly done activity after another, never finishing anything really and never connecting things together. OK, not those, but I'm getting evaluated next week and it will be an unhappy scene because I'm insubordinate. If it's the district's, I focus exclusively on a textbook that doesn't help my students meet the standards that they need to master in order to graduate. OK, maybe those, with amendments.
That's what I'm doing. Jeez, if I weren't an experienced (stubborn) teacher, I would be having a nervous breakdown. Or maybe I wouldn't, because I'd be unaware that there's anything better.
So, we really went into two different camps. The department head, who is resigning multiple responsibilities because of health issues, plans to confront Mr. PM, and most of us agree about that. But another guy thinks it's much better to be underhanded and just do whatever we want.
That is the problem, my friends, that underhandedness. Mr. PM needs to understand and be held accountable, and who better than us to do so?
I know that I'm a warrior. While fighting is not what I like to do, I don't shy from it because I think sometimes it's important - especially to speak the truth to power. People give me a hard time for discord with authority figures, but if everybody else would stand up to them on the small stuff, I wouldn't feel the burden of doing it all the time.
I'm a warrior because I've lost so many times and I've realized that there's far worse things than losing a fight - like losing my integrity.
Ugh. I just got email from Morris (my "research assistant" at the camp) and the camp manager is ON HOLIDAY THE DAY I'M THERE. Fuck. Well, so the trip now is not business. Screw it. No stress, it'll all work out. Morris be da man.
Have I mentioned that I hate my job? And that makes me so unfair to everybody involved.
I keep thinking, "How dare my job interfere with what I should be doing" - the reading, the writing, the researching. How dare I be forced to spend 6+ hours there each day? How dare I pretend to care? I have better things to be doing!
Yesterday was my first department meeting without Mr. Principal Man, and let's just say it's an unhappy crowd. Everything I've bitched about here, they ranted about at length. I can at least say, "Self, you'll be outta here in 16 weeks" - but they see no light at the end of the tunnel. Mr. PM just adds layer upon layer of "good idea gone bad" upon what is already an overstretched 45 minutes.
I face a dilemma every day - whose wishes do I follow? If it's the kids', then we'd sit around talking about partying all day long. OK, not those wishes. If it's the principal's, then we rush through one badly done activity after another, never finishing anything really and never connecting things together. OK, not those, but I'm getting evaluated next week and it will be an unhappy scene because I'm insubordinate. If it's the district's, I focus exclusively on a textbook that doesn't help my students meet the standards that they need to master in order to graduate. OK, maybe those, with amendments.
That's what I'm doing. Jeez, if I weren't an experienced (stubborn) teacher, I would be having a nervous breakdown. Or maybe I wouldn't, because I'd be unaware that there's anything better.
So, we really went into two different camps. The department head, who is resigning multiple responsibilities because of health issues, plans to confront Mr. PM, and most of us agree about that. But another guy thinks it's much better to be underhanded and just do whatever we want.
That is the problem, my friends, that underhandedness. Mr. PM needs to understand and be held accountable, and who better than us to do so?
I know that I'm a warrior. While fighting is not what I like to do, I don't shy from it because I think sometimes it's important - especially to speak the truth to power. People give me a hard time for discord with authority figures, but if everybody else would stand up to them on the small stuff, I wouldn't feel the burden of doing it all the time.
I'm a warrior because I've lost so many times and I've realized that there's far worse things than losing a fight - like losing my integrity.
Ugh. I just got email from Morris (my "research assistant" at the camp) and the camp manager is ON HOLIDAY THE DAY I'M THERE. Fuck. Well, so the trip now is not business. Screw it. No stress, it'll all work out. Morris be da man.
Have I mentioned that I hate my job? And that makes me so unfair to everybody involved.
posted by NOLA at 6:45 AM
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