impending bifocals

Trying to read an article now, I had to hold it at arm's length. Damn. Time for bifocals, I fear. That could explain the headache I've had for a couple months now almost without stop.

I've been thinking about my student Yomar. He came to us mid-term from the district's other continuation high school because he'd been jumped there. He had a nasty bloody eye until recently. When I stopped seeing him. He has missed class the past three days, and on Friday his dad came to school right when I was trying to call the house to ask WTF? Some kids miss regularly, but he never had, and I was concerned. Well, he hadn't gone home, and his father was concerned, too. All I can keep thinking is how I hope he's ok. He's a great kid, I really like him - very warm and friendly and capable.

I asked how he did on the high school exit exam last time he took it, and he had been arrested right as the tests were being passed out. The cops came to the school and took him away right then. "Why?" "Murder charge. I was falsely accused." A false accusation of MURDER?! Damn.

Or another kid, I asked why he didn't take the exam last time or the time before. "Oh, because I was locked up." I stopped asking why. Sometimes, I really don't want to know anymore.

Strangest thing that happened last week: Roberto started working. He had skipped class for like two weeks and then started showing up (it's his first class of the day, and he's always late). Well, I'm out of patience with the homeboy, and I was snippety plus with him. "Don't be late! Get out paper now! If you don't work RIGHT NOW I'll send you to the office." I figured - what do I have to lose? The kid doesn't do shit. We get along fine, but he's like a slug.

But Friday, when I looked over, he was catching up with the work. I was so disoriented I didn't know what to do. And Jose, his friend who's new to the school (and gives me the MAJOR creeps, and the more I'm chilly to him the more he pursues my attention, which he actually has figured out he gets when he does well, so he does) was like, "It's a MIRACLE! Roberto is working! I've never seen such a thing!" Which gave me the chance to say, "Yep, that's why I have no patience with him - because I know he can do it and I'm not letting him get away with less." Which is bullshit - I just have no patience with him because all my patience is already gone for the year. But, he liked it, and worked even harder.

When I was nice to him, he didn't do shit. When I'm mean to him, he works and learns?

Shit, I'm so confused.

I got so much done today, but now I feel like crashing and burning. Blah.

Have I mentioned that I hate my job?