don't borrow trouble
That's what a professor said to me last night when I announced upon provocation that I may well be leaving Just Shoot Me U.
Again.
The biggest problem is I cannot picture a dissertation committee in my head of people I like, respect, want to work with, and can work together. Additionally, my current committee is making me crazy and my advisor doesn't return emails. And this will be my life? That means it will take me over two years to do a one-year dissertation, and I'm not willing to play that game. That means I'll have to teach still. That means I'll be impatiently waiting all the time. That's not working for me.
So, what do I want to do? Well ... my first question is whether to drop out right now or to figure things out after next term (which I already paid for, though a $1,000 refund would be nice; though, with the stipend I'll earn for TAing and possible summer school, I'm actually working out ahead on that).
Fantasy land - I'll apply to another Perfect School (i.e. with international education or anthropology and public policy focus) and while waiting for them to beg me, I'll go somewhere else and do something else. I'd love to take my manic energy and go somewhere I have to wear a flak jacket and do something good for humanity while ducking on reflex. Unfortunately, nobody will hire me because I lack that experience.
Maybe if I search really hard I could find a university in Africa that would hire me for a year. Problem is most of them aren't on-line, so finding a place is about connections, which I don't have on that continent.
I don't know what to do. I'm fed up and frustrated, but I'm not really acting out of that. I'm acting out of the realization that my dissertation committee will not be worth my time, and that graduating from JSMU won't help me get a job where I want doing what I want.
So do I leave here, with only 1-2 years left, and start over someplace else? It will be better, but there will always be drama. PhDs are notorious for hazing. Ugh.
Again.
The biggest problem is I cannot picture a dissertation committee in my head of people I like, respect, want to work with, and can work together. Additionally, my current committee is making me crazy and my advisor doesn't return emails. And this will be my life? That means it will take me over two years to do a one-year dissertation, and I'm not willing to play that game. That means I'll have to teach still. That means I'll be impatiently waiting all the time. That's not working for me.
So, what do I want to do? Well ... my first question is whether to drop out right now or to figure things out after next term (which I already paid for, though a $1,000 refund would be nice; though, with the stipend I'll earn for TAing and possible summer school, I'm actually working out ahead on that).
Fantasy land - I'll apply to another Perfect School (i.e. with international education or anthropology and public policy focus) and while waiting for them to beg me, I'll go somewhere else and do something else. I'd love to take my manic energy and go somewhere I have to wear a flak jacket and do something good for humanity while ducking on reflex. Unfortunately, nobody will hire me because I lack that experience.
Maybe if I search really hard I could find a university in Africa that would hire me for a year. Problem is most of them aren't on-line, so finding a place is about connections, which I don't have on that continent.
I don't know what to do. I'm fed up and frustrated, but I'm not really acting out of that. I'm acting out of the realization that my dissertation committee will not be worth my time, and that graduating from JSMU won't help me get a job where I want doing what I want.
So do I leave here, with only 1-2 years left, and start over someplace else? It will be better, but there will always be drama. PhDs are notorious for hazing. Ugh.
posted by NOLA at 6:50 AM
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