Opportunity To Speak

Cashier: Do you want some help out with these [three small bags of groceries]?

What I did not say: Yeah, that would be great. Since I just walked four miles, these last five blocks with carrying the groceries will be too much for me - so if you could carry them home for me, that would be great. Put 'em away and I'll meet you there.

***********

Student [before school]: If you help me with this [editing his personal narrative], I'll buy you lunch.

What I did not say: You can't afford me, loser.

************
Me [to student off-task]: Move over to this other spot, now.

Student: What's your problem?

Me: What's my problem? What's my problem?! Do you understand how inappropriate it is to speak to me like that?

Student: Ah, Ms. B, I thought we were tight, like homies.

Me: If you thought that, then you are clearly on crack.

***************

I am a consummate label reader. I spent over half an hour in the grocery store looking at dozens of labels of products which I did not buy. I compared 10 different kinds of Fudgsicle-like products to buy none - because none had enough actual chocolate in it for me (or it had some artificial sweetener crap). I probably look very strange in there - on the security cameras they probably have me pegged as some sort of industrial espionage agent, my MP3 player some data-collection device.

I thought today of Bryce, a former student, who talked SO MUCH ALL THE DAMN TIME. I invented "opportunity to speak" cards - he got three per class period. He had to give me a card every time he spoke, and if he spoke more than that, there was some consequence. Talking to classmates was fine during worktime, but this kid wanted MY attention ALL THE TIME, and there were 35 kids in that class.

I have more like him now, and I am not amused.

One kid actually refused to give his speech today. Actually it didn't bother me too much because he was going to fail either way (he was gone three weeks and did NONE of the work - but his brother in the same class, different section, earned a B), but I sent him up to the office on referral. Kids throughout the day told me they were shocked that everybody spoke - a few tried not to, and I was having none of that bullshit. Of course it's not fun, but it's a standard and it's required. So, WTF with teachers allowing kids to pass classes without doing what they're required to do?? Who exactly are they helping?

The kids in 5th period actually got me to allow them onto the internet today. After the speeches we weren't starting anything new, so why not? I could finish up my grades and they were happy. One half of one period of one term - I think I'm not a horrible teacher because of it. I hope. There are strict filters on our internet, and every time I looked up some kid was blocked off some site. Saves me from babysitting. Just annoys me I can't check my email at work. Oh well.