our class

My resolution today was to not yell at any kids. Not that I usually yell much, but last Friday I became uber-bitch, and it was less than effective.

I talked to the principal first, pointing out that I have six (now seven) boys in one class who cannot receive credit no matter what they do because they entered late in the term. Imagine just how NOT engaged they are in the tedium of English Language Development. Hell, I'm only there because I get paid. I like the kids too, but the curriculum is Boring.

Friday was bad in that class - it was like a mutiny and I was not winning the war. Oh, it looked like I was in control, but I knew - and the kids from lock-up knew - that it was only an illusion. One kid (just from lock-up) started overreacting to everything I said, the two lowest skills boys refused to speak English, and the low point was when a kid wrote in the dictionary (circling the word he was looking for) and then lied to me about it when I told him not to do that. That's the worst - lying to me. Hate it.

So today at the break, I started first on the kid who whines all the time (though he's gotten better). Then I went to the overreactor. He avoided eye contact with me but I called him over and we talked it over, and when the whiner joined us, the overreactor said "Yeah, I'm sorry, I won't act like that again. This is our class. [gesture including me, the whiner, and the homeboys on the fence] Our class."

Guess what I got today in our class? A kid who hasn't been to school in three years because he's been in lock-up. Nobody wanted to sit next to him because he was so scary. So, I spent most of my time counseling him - the boy wanted to talk and talk - but the rest of the class did ok. Not much babysitting, no yelling. And they were proud of themselves, especially the overreactor. He overreacts, I realize, because he has so many bad messages in his head, and I need to prove my commitment and belief in him and them.

The kid I really yelled at on Friday called me cool and I told him to knock it off. The girl with attitude asked, "Why you don't like it when he calls you that?" "Because I don't think he means it and his timing is bad." "But, he does mean it. We all do. You get mad sometimes because you want us to do things a certain way, but you are one of the very nicest teachers here. Even when you're frustrated, we know you love us."

Damn, I feel bad for these kids. I'm one of the nicest? And haven't been much nice to them at all, especially not that class. What on earth is going on in other classrooms?

Well, I sure hope the overreactor doesn't have to mark his territory.