Apple fritters are my new diet secret.
Um, I guess not a secret anymore.
I was over at Michele's and ate "a bite" (almost half) of hers, and I haven't really been much hungry today after that.
Or, it could be the oatmeal - it's the Trader Joe's Complete (they add soy protein and such) - last time I tried it I thought it was awful, but that was nothing that a splash of milk, a chopped up Ambrosia apple, and generous dashes of cinnamon can't fix.
Or maybe it was how she so kicked my butt at racquetball. Wow, I really suck. Well, the good news about that is I can only really improve. I've played racquetball I think a total of twice in my life, and those were both about 23 years ago, so my expectations aren't too high. I just feel bad that I'm not a good partner for her - but I think we both got a good workout.
I bought racquetballs today at Target while I was there. Now I don't feel like such a poseur.
So, I talked to Dayton on the phone today. He's in Liberia and doesn't know when he can leave (since I can't send him more money to bail him out). Anyway, the phone connection was HORRIBLE and so frustrating (which I also used to my advantage - making him apologize multiple times, "What was that? I can't hear you"). It was his brother's phone, whom he was visiting for the evening - and the brother sounds just like him. Dayton called this morning before 6:00 am - actually I had been awake before that but then went back to sleep, so it was fine - I'm pretty early to rise every day recently. He asked me to call him back in five hours - and when I did he was in a "family meeting." A WHAT?! Sheesh! I'm not marrying into a family that does THAT! Heck, I don't even talk to my own family - his people better not be expecting me to get in on that action.
I don't know when I'll talk to him again. He's not usually around people with phones, and then not when I can talk.
I really don't want to teach again next year - I want to be done in June for good. I've said it before, but I really mean it now. This of course means that I can't afford to bring a family here - couldn't even get him a visa if I'm not employed.
I've applied for a dissertation fellowship - and one of my former profs forwarded me the recommendation letter and I was like, "Wow! Who is this person he's writing about?! She sounds cool and great - I want to meet her!" Anyway, my proposal may be problematic (according to one prof), but I'm going to send it ahead nearly as-is (because it has the Jenny stamp of approval).
If I get that, I can just barely afford to support myself next year. If I don't get it, I might take out student loans and save like crazy for the rest of this year. Either way, no teaching. This would allow me to spend more time doing research - and maybe even more time in Oregon.
Teaching is a really great profession, and I'm glad I did it - but I'm ready to move on now. Too often in the middle of a lesson I think, "I would so much rather be reading or researching now." I sort of am researching while teaching, but it's nothing to publish, nothing for my future.
And I think that when I finish my PhD I really want to go to West Africa to work for awhile - preferably with a university there. That will give me a chance to get some work published and to really spend time doing good research there.
Where does that leave Dayton and me? I dunno. We can't talk these things through because of the logistics problems. Ergh. I do love him and I want to be with him here or there, but I'm not taking things for granted because I'm changing all the rules and expectations of our relationship with these new plans.
Tomorrow is going to be hell. It's a new term, and the counselor didn't change all my classes (every single class has a completely different make-up) - so I won't even know who will show up, and how can I start lessons when the wrong kids are there and that won't be sorted out for a couple days - maybe not even a week? The terms are only 6 weeks long, and now I already am missing a couple days teaching - plus, it's a behavior management nightmare. And I'm adding kids who are unsuccessful in their regular English classes - which is usually about laziness and bad attitude more than poor English scores, but I'm covering our butt by servicing them. They're are going to be PISSED OFF to be put back into ELD.
Ugh. Only 20 more weeks. Damn, that's a lot.
Um, I guess not a secret anymore.
I was over at Michele's and ate "a bite" (almost half) of hers, and I haven't really been much hungry today after that.
Or, it could be the oatmeal - it's the Trader Joe's Complete (they add soy protein and such) - last time I tried it I thought it was awful, but that was nothing that a splash of milk, a chopped up Ambrosia apple, and generous dashes of cinnamon can't fix.
Or maybe it was how she so kicked my butt at racquetball. Wow, I really suck. Well, the good news about that is I can only really improve. I've played racquetball I think a total of twice in my life, and those were both about 23 years ago, so my expectations aren't too high. I just feel bad that I'm not a good partner for her - but I think we both got a good workout.
I bought racquetballs today at Target while I was there. Now I don't feel like such a poseur.
So, I talked to Dayton on the phone today. He's in Liberia and doesn't know when he can leave (since I can't send him more money to bail him out). Anyway, the phone connection was HORRIBLE and so frustrating (which I also used to my advantage - making him apologize multiple times, "What was that? I can't hear you"). It was his brother's phone, whom he was visiting for the evening - and the brother sounds just like him. Dayton called this morning before 6:00 am - actually I had been awake before that but then went back to sleep, so it was fine - I'm pretty early to rise every day recently. He asked me to call him back in five hours - and when I did he was in a "family meeting." A WHAT?! Sheesh! I'm not marrying into a family that does THAT! Heck, I don't even talk to my own family - his people better not be expecting me to get in on that action.
I don't know when I'll talk to him again. He's not usually around people with phones, and then not when I can talk.
I really don't want to teach again next year - I want to be done in June for good. I've said it before, but I really mean it now. This of course means that I can't afford to bring a family here - couldn't even get him a visa if I'm not employed.
I've applied for a dissertation fellowship - and one of my former profs forwarded me the recommendation letter and I was like, "Wow! Who is this person he's writing about?! She sounds cool and great - I want to meet her!" Anyway, my proposal may be problematic (according to one prof), but I'm going to send it ahead nearly as-is (because it has the Jenny stamp of approval).
If I get that, I can just barely afford to support myself next year. If I don't get it, I might take out student loans and save like crazy for the rest of this year. Either way, no teaching. This would allow me to spend more time doing research - and maybe even more time in Oregon.
Teaching is a really great profession, and I'm glad I did it - but I'm ready to move on now. Too often in the middle of a lesson I think, "I would so much rather be reading or researching now." I sort of am researching while teaching, but it's nothing to publish, nothing for my future.
And I think that when I finish my PhD I really want to go to West Africa to work for awhile - preferably with a university there. That will give me a chance to get some work published and to really spend time doing good research there.
Where does that leave Dayton and me? I dunno. We can't talk these things through because of the logistics problems. Ergh. I do love him and I want to be with him here or there, but I'm not taking things for granted because I'm changing all the rules and expectations of our relationship with these new plans.
Tomorrow is going to be hell. It's a new term, and the counselor didn't change all my classes (every single class has a completely different make-up) - so I won't even know who will show up, and how can I start lessons when the wrong kids are there and that won't be sorted out for a couple days - maybe not even a week? The terms are only 6 weeks long, and now I already am missing a couple days teaching - plus, it's a behavior management nightmare. And I'm adding kids who are unsuccessful in their regular English classes - which is usually about laziness and bad attitude more than poor English scores, but I'm covering our butt by servicing them. They're are going to be PISSED OFF to be put back into ELD.
Ugh. Only 20 more weeks. Damn, that's a lot.
posted by NOLA at 6:19 PM
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