perspective

From a recent classmate, who just started her masters at JSMU: "On another note, I'm glad to have been your classmate and I've learned a lot from you. Thanks for offering comments with respect and well, I just mean for being so understanding, sincere, and friendly."

Sincere, I go with, and usually friendly. Understanding? Respectful? Who was in the room with her?

So, tonight roommate took me to her favorite cheap Chinese food place. It's not great food. But, I knew that before we went because I'd tried hers before - I was polite, "Mm, yes, good," thinking "How many calories for not great food?" But, I went, and it was fun - the first time we've done anything social. We drove PAST Ikea - over 30 minutes on the freeway from home - and she said it wasn't that far. Not far? That's a Major Adventure for Jen and her min to drive that far.

So, roommate and I had a ven (though she wouldn't understand if I explained ad-ven-ture status), with shopping and all that. Nice supermarket. And she totally called all the traffic timing just right.

So, things are better with slightly-crazy roommate. Things are better with dysfunctional district. And things are way better with Just Shoot Me University because I QUIT.

I got offered a summer teaching job (that I did last year), but I can't decide if it's worth the cost of staying here another smoggy summer. If I only make $1,000 over my costs of living, then it's probably not worth it and I should just take off. But if I can juggle it with summer school teaching in my district (which depends on principal's permission, which I'm not sure of), then $$ would way be worth it. Hm.

And, roommate offered to take or pick me up from airport, but she'll probably be avoiding fiance's crazy parents then - that business trip to northern California she's been putting off, she'll probably do once they get here. Unfortunate, since she hardly needs the stress before her wedding. And I'll be stuck with them in the house. Which is of course easier for me than her, because I'm just a stranger and not their daughter-in-law-to-be. Plus, we all speak some Russian, so we can communicate - she and they share no language. Yeah, we're quite the polyglot household - English, Mandarin, Kyrgyz, Russian, German, Spanish.

But, yay, I have friends to do airport duty! I hate to ask, but I feel less bad since it's not for booty call action and it's for helping others. I talked to Mr. "It's all their damn fault" again today, and he said how "nice" it is for me to help in New Orleans (St. Bernard Parish, really). Um, moral imperative. I'm not nice. I just believe that helping others is the right thing to do. I'll get grumpy when I'm all sore with hauling wet moldy sheetrock all day. I'll crawl into my sleeping bag after a hot shower and be antisocial. Not nice. But, I'm being nice to him - jumping down his throat wouldn't help. We have different perspectives. I know I'm less than forgiving to people who make bad choices often - that's why I'm such a killer at panel.

But it's one thing to learn a consequence by having to retake a class than it is to live in abject poverty and unsafe conditions. Especially because adults made the "choices" to live in New Orleans, but their children suffer from what happened. And if southern California gets the big earthquake, do we really not deserve compassion of strangers? Every place has its possible disasters.

And I've started telling my students about it. Not because I want to be thought of as "nice" or anything, but because I want service to be in their conceptions of reality. Most of them come from backgrounds that struggle just to survive, but hopefully they will rise above that and give back to others. "Helping others is the right thing to do," I said today. Nobody argued. And trust me, they like to argue. When I say things like "Lying is wrong" they jump all over my ass. I stick to it, but they say I'm full of shit. Today when I said I'm not an expert at rolling joints (in a discussion of expert opinions), after they laughed one said, "You've never rolled a joint?" "No comment."

I just want to be a real person to them. I want them to consider becoming teachers. Today we talked about that. One kid asked if I thought teaching was the best job, and I said it doesn't suck - because it helps people and you get summers off. I also want them to consider volunteering - it enhances lives so much. On both sides of the equation.

OK, must work early tomorrow - left work at 12:15 today because I couldn't get into my classroom to work. Tomorrow is major stress day for everybody because it's accreditation visit day, but I'm not stressed because I've done nothing to prepare for it. I'll shrug and say, "Sorry." Besides, I'm not in my classroom tomorrow, either, so hopefully they can't find me.

I must add that today I pushed World's Coolest Teacher status - this kid was trying to find out more info about the HR 4437 protest - a contact number or something. And I said, oh, I have all that information in my bag. So he carried all my books to my temporary classroom (during which time all my students of that class period showed up ON TIME to the first period of the day - unheard of! - to help me) while I dug out the papers. How cool am I? Yesterday a girl said her dad said if I could organize a bus that he'd pay for it - and a classmate said, "Maybe they'll start dating" and I had this flash of serious, deep fear for a second (the girl is a challenge). I printed up info on the bill for everybody who wanted it, I let a girl call her boyfriend on her cell phone (not allowed at school) to get more info.

And the best part? I'm leaving soon. So for years to come they'll tell stories about that incredibly cool teacher who marched for their rights with 'em (yeah, lots of my kids are "illegal"), and I won't have to live up to the reality of my reputation. Love it. As long as I don't blow it for the next 12 weeks by being ... well, me ... I'll be The Coolest Teacher Ever.