Saturday morning cultural discontinuity
I don't know exactly what I had planned for this morning. Probably rereading and finishing Fred Erickson's Talk and Social Theory. It's a good book about sociolinguistics, especially how he takes the specific to the general level, understanding that talk is both local and global. Very good examples.
But instead, I'm calling West Africa. Over and over and over again. Why? Because THE TELEPHONE SYSTEM EFFING SUCKS! I don't know if it's my calling cards or the infrastructure there, or both, but if I hear one more error message or dead line I will hurt somebody.
I'm Western Unioning money to Dayton's brother in Liberia (to repay him for money he borrowed to get Dayton back to Ghana). I'm not entirely happy about it, but I said I would, and I worked extra hours for it, so I am. I keep my word.
It's a little endearing that when I asked Dayton's brother what to make be the security question he said Who, with the answer being sister-in-law. Endearing or trapping, I'm not sure. Whether it will come to be, I don't know. In this moment I say "Hell no" with quite some certainty. But who knows? I clearly don't.
As I blogged before, the thing about West Africa is that you're never really alone - there was always this security net for me, people looking out usually without me knowing. Which was great when I was lost or upset or anything else like that. Here, people are SO ISOLATED - sitting like little pod people in their A/C vehicles. There, it's noisy and people are jostling together all the time.
It's not just Dayton I love - I like the sense of belonging, of being integrated in the web. So while I may kind of freak at the idea of his family meetings and all that, there are benefits to belonging, too. And I am strong enough to say "Hell, no" when I need to. People looking out for me. THAT nepotism reigns supreme in West Africa - and while it causes lots and lots of problems at the national level, at the small-scale level it's an effective way of getting things done. It's the social capital. What's cool is I already have some of that built up in Liberia through different friends and now potential family. If/when I do go to Liberia for the first time, it will be like going home - or at least into "Cheers." I'm not a big fan of biological family, clearly (since I don't speak to mine), but I fiercely believe in chosen family.
ARGH!! I finally reached him and halfway through the control number we got cut off. THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING.
Maybe that's a good reality check. Everything in West Africa is frustrating. When I try to do it with my western-style efficiency, there is stark mismatch.
Well, that is not entirely true. One significant reason I made good friends there and people respected me is that I can cut through the crap. I don't try to work against the West African ways, but work with them and my own style to make things happen. I don't get quagmired. I use both honey and vinegar. I treat people respectfully, though am not afraid to get in a yelling match when necessary, and I'm very clear and explicit and honest. While those styles are not familiar ones to most West Africans, they seem to like it.
ARGH!! This is fucking unbelievable. The card cut me off without warning because it says my balance is too low. They lied about how much they charge per minute. Now I have to buy a whole new calling card before I can call him again?
These little frustrations add up. I just need to not direct them at the person whose fault they are not.
OK, reached him, got it done. Mission accomplished. Which is oh-so-fitting with my phone, whose ring is Mission Impossible.
But instead, I'm calling West Africa. Over and over and over again. Why? Because THE TELEPHONE SYSTEM EFFING SUCKS! I don't know if it's my calling cards or the infrastructure there, or both, but if I hear one more error message or dead line I will hurt somebody.
I'm Western Unioning money to Dayton's brother in Liberia (to repay him for money he borrowed to get Dayton back to Ghana). I'm not entirely happy about it, but I said I would, and I worked extra hours for it, so I am. I keep my word.
It's a little endearing that when I asked Dayton's brother what to make be the security question he said Who, with the answer being sister-in-law. Endearing or trapping, I'm not sure. Whether it will come to be, I don't know. In this moment I say "Hell no" with quite some certainty. But who knows? I clearly don't.
As I blogged before, the thing about West Africa is that you're never really alone - there was always this security net for me, people looking out usually without me knowing. Which was great when I was lost or upset or anything else like that. Here, people are SO ISOLATED - sitting like little pod people in their A/C vehicles. There, it's noisy and people are jostling together all the time.
It's not just Dayton I love - I like the sense of belonging, of being integrated in the web. So while I may kind of freak at the idea of his family meetings and all that, there are benefits to belonging, too. And I am strong enough to say "Hell, no" when I need to. People looking out for me. THAT nepotism reigns supreme in West Africa - and while it causes lots and lots of problems at the national level, at the small-scale level it's an effective way of getting things done. It's the social capital. What's cool is I already have some of that built up in Liberia through different friends and now potential family. If/when I do go to Liberia for the first time, it will be like going home - or at least into "Cheers." I'm not a big fan of biological family, clearly (since I don't speak to mine), but I fiercely believe in chosen family.
ARGH!! I finally reached him and halfway through the control number we got cut off. THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING.
Maybe that's a good reality check. Everything in West Africa is frustrating. When I try to do it with my western-style efficiency, there is stark mismatch.
Well, that is not entirely true. One significant reason I made good friends there and people respected me is that I can cut through the crap. I don't try to work against the West African ways, but work with them and my own style to make things happen. I don't get quagmired. I use both honey and vinegar. I treat people respectfully, though am not afraid to get in a yelling match when necessary, and I'm very clear and explicit and honest. While those styles are not familiar ones to most West Africans, they seem to like it.
ARGH!! This is fucking unbelievable. The card cut me off without warning because it says my balance is too low. They lied about how much they charge per minute. Now I have to buy a whole new calling card before I can call him again?
These little frustrations add up. I just need to not direct them at the person whose fault they are not.
OK, reached him, got it done. Mission accomplished. Which is oh-so-fitting with my phone, whose ring is Mission Impossible.
posted by NOLA at 9:08 AM
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