teaching
This was going to be a post about some of the things I love about teaching. Kids bonding with me and wanting my help, thriving in my classroom and doing things they never thought themselves capable of, creating an environment where they take chances and find their own rewards.
But instead, I'm going to rail against all the places where that ISN'T the case. Why do kids turn to me for help so often? I'm new to the school, know so little still, and don't consider myself particularly nice or accessible. I try to treat the kids with respect, but I'm not warm and fuzzy. So why aren't they finding what they need from the 20 other teachers at our school, or the other 100 or so they've had in their lives?
Why have my kids been kicked around so much by so many? Why am I not hearing the kids talk about other teachers really helping them out, holding them accountable, expecting success? (Though we do have an awesome campus supervisor. Yesterday when a girl didn't come back for the 2nd part of the math test [because she was braindead and thought she was finished], he and I together found her and brought her back.)
Don't get me wrong - I'm not that for all kids. Hell, there are kids that make my skin crawl and I stay as far away from as possible. Just two now, but they are Creepy and they'll need to find bonding with somebody else. But Alex, the first referral I had to write at this school after storming out shouting at me to fuck off (last month) - today when he had a B- on his grade report he worked to get work in and said he's "fighting for an A" and rewrote something after I edited it and he never once threw a tantrum or slammed anything - his usual m.o. He has grown as a writer and thinker, and he's actually the strongest student in the class now (which is a problem because he has to always be entertained, but he finishes everything before everybody else). I could have given up on him and called him a p.o.s. but I didn't. Instead, I expect him to toe the line and every day is a negotiation, but now there's more successes than failures. Tomorrow he may backslide again, but I'll just kick his ass out and he'll come back begging for forgiveness. I can't take the shit of his life personally, even when he tries to take it out on me.
I got five classes full of Alexes. The kids who dig their heels in to resist the scholastic hegemony - but really want what Pancho thinks he's found in me - "You won't let me fuck up. I'll be doing all my work and graduating soon because you won't let me do anything less."
But why does he - why do they - need me to do this? Where are the other adults in their lives?
Why did it take me to dig out the real critical thinking genius in Michael? (I realize I talk a lot more about boys here - because 80% of my students are boys.) He wrote a really fantastic little piece about Lincoln for the test. In November, he was a slug with no motivation or anything interesting about him. Then this magic happened that I still don't really get - even though I felt no particular bond to the kid, he thought I did. I guess that's what Doug calls charisma authority. And the illusion of a non-existent relationship fueled him to trying harder - making me take notice and us to develop an actual relationship because it wasn't as much fun anymore for him to act like an idiot. His tablemate Rene doesn't have a 3rd period class, when we do "advisory," because he works then. So what did his former 3rd period teacher do? Give him his transcript and wash her hands of responsibility to him. Nobody now is set up to put in schedule changes for him, keep him on graduation track, all that. So, he asked me what to do. What the hell am I supposed to do? Of course I'll take responsibility for him (and not just because he likes to give me chocolate and other little treats) - but why isn't anybody else?
There are less than 400 students at my school, but it's always run in emergency mode. There's no planning or organization, and procedures are completely implicit because to utter them would be to expose their inanity. I'm responsible for all sorts of things that nobody tells me how to do, but I'm still supposed to - like school reporting folders and weekly lessons and test data and all sorts of shit that I don't have any clue about. What happens when I get evaluated and I'm not doing any of these things that are MANDATORY?
Like this MANDATORY meeting I'm supposed to attend next week - when I have class. So I called when I got the notice on Tuesday and said I couldn't go and they told me I have to. "I'm not sure you're hearing me. I have another obligation at that time and you'll need to make other arrangements." I was uber-bitch, and when she told me to talk to her supervisor I had to go to another meeting. Um, I've been an employee for three months and haven't died YET from bloodborne pathogens - I think I can go another few - or show up at another time for the 5-minute spiel they need to give me. Or send me a binder to read and report on. I don't care - but don't tell me I have to be somewhere at 3:30 pm when my workday ends at 1:15. And don't ignore me when I say I have another life.
This is such a dysfunctional district and school, and while it's frustrating as a teacher, the worst part is that the kids get fucked over so badly.
What would make it better?
Teachers trained better. My trainings, while sometimes really stupid, sometimes really made fundamental impact in my thinking and relating to kids. My current district provides NOTHING.
Better communication with homes. We have one teacher (besides me) who speaks any Spanish, and NO support staff. 85% of our kids are Latino, with over half speaking English as a second language.
Administrators who have positive relations with ALL kids (our current principal is a little too happy to help out white girls and nobody else) and who were good teachers and are role models and support to their staff.
Smaller class sizes in all high schools. Our district has some of the largest high schools in the country, and class sizes are usually around 40. When kids aren't hiding from or instigating ethnic conflict, they are LOST.
Strict consequences for misbehavior (including removal from setting) at both the classroom and school level. This provides a safe environment for the 99% of the kids who do want to learn.
Clear expectations honestly expressed to students - both at classroom level (what they need to do to be successful) and higher (such as passing high school exit exam).
Help with sorting out what to do with their future - more help with examining different career and educational possibilities to help them see a better future.
Teachers and administrators who really care about kids being successful - including the kids who don't look much like them. Who aren't looking to find somebody to blame, but want to take responsibility as a team to support kids.
A district office that is staffed by competent people who clearly communicate with teachers.
Enough textbooks for all kids - and good textbooks, with engaging format and information to spark critical thinking and creative expression.
Oh, the list could go on and on. Enough said.
But instead, I'm going to rail against all the places where that ISN'T the case. Why do kids turn to me for help so often? I'm new to the school, know so little still, and don't consider myself particularly nice or accessible. I try to treat the kids with respect, but I'm not warm and fuzzy. So why aren't they finding what they need from the 20 other teachers at our school, or the other 100 or so they've had in their lives?
Why have my kids been kicked around so much by so many? Why am I not hearing the kids talk about other teachers really helping them out, holding them accountable, expecting success? (Though we do have an awesome campus supervisor. Yesterday when a girl didn't come back for the 2nd part of the math test [because she was braindead and thought she was finished], he and I together found her and brought her back.)
Don't get me wrong - I'm not that for all kids. Hell, there are kids that make my skin crawl and I stay as far away from as possible. Just two now, but they are Creepy and they'll need to find bonding with somebody else. But Alex, the first referral I had to write at this school after storming out shouting at me to fuck off (last month) - today when he had a B- on his grade report he worked to get work in and said he's "fighting for an A" and rewrote something after I edited it and he never once threw a tantrum or slammed anything - his usual m.o. He has grown as a writer and thinker, and he's actually the strongest student in the class now (which is a problem because he has to always be entertained, but he finishes everything before everybody else). I could have given up on him and called him a p.o.s. but I didn't. Instead, I expect him to toe the line and every day is a negotiation, but now there's more successes than failures. Tomorrow he may backslide again, but I'll just kick his ass out and he'll come back begging for forgiveness. I can't take the shit of his life personally, even when he tries to take it out on me.
I got five classes full of Alexes. The kids who dig their heels in to resist the scholastic hegemony - but really want what Pancho thinks he's found in me - "You won't let me fuck up. I'll be doing all my work and graduating soon because you won't let me do anything less."
But why does he - why do they - need me to do this? Where are the other adults in their lives?
Why did it take me to dig out the real critical thinking genius in Michael? (I realize I talk a lot more about boys here - because 80% of my students are boys.) He wrote a really fantastic little piece about Lincoln for the test. In November, he was a slug with no motivation or anything interesting about him. Then this magic happened that I still don't really get - even though I felt no particular bond to the kid, he thought I did. I guess that's what Doug calls charisma authority. And the illusion of a non-existent relationship fueled him to trying harder - making me take notice and us to develop an actual relationship because it wasn't as much fun anymore for him to act like an idiot. His tablemate Rene doesn't have a 3rd period class, when we do "advisory," because he works then. So what did his former 3rd period teacher do? Give him his transcript and wash her hands of responsibility to him. Nobody now is set up to put in schedule changes for him, keep him on graduation track, all that. So, he asked me what to do. What the hell am I supposed to do? Of course I'll take responsibility for him (and not just because he likes to give me chocolate and other little treats) - but why isn't anybody else?
There are less than 400 students at my school, but it's always run in emergency mode. There's no planning or organization, and procedures are completely implicit because to utter them would be to expose their inanity. I'm responsible for all sorts of things that nobody tells me how to do, but I'm still supposed to - like school reporting folders and weekly lessons and test data and all sorts of shit that I don't have any clue about. What happens when I get evaluated and I'm not doing any of these things that are MANDATORY?
Like this MANDATORY meeting I'm supposed to attend next week - when I have class. So I called when I got the notice on Tuesday and said I couldn't go and they told me I have to. "I'm not sure you're hearing me. I have another obligation at that time and you'll need to make other arrangements." I was uber-bitch, and when she told me to talk to her supervisor I had to go to another meeting. Um, I've been an employee for three months and haven't died YET from bloodborne pathogens - I think I can go another few - or show up at another time for the 5-minute spiel they need to give me. Or send me a binder to read and report on. I don't care - but don't tell me I have to be somewhere at 3:30 pm when my workday ends at 1:15. And don't ignore me when I say I have another life.
This is such a dysfunctional district and school, and while it's frustrating as a teacher, the worst part is that the kids get fucked over so badly.
What would make it better?
Teachers trained better. My trainings, while sometimes really stupid, sometimes really made fundamental impact in my thinking and relating to kids. My current district provides NOTHING.
Better communication with homes. We have one teacher (besides me) who speaks any Spanish, and NO support staff. 85% of our kids are Latino, with over half speaking English as a second language.
Administrators who have positive relations with ALL kids (our current principal is a little too happy to help out white girls and nobody else) and who were good teachers and are role models and support to their staff.
Smaller class sizes in all high schools. Our district has some of the largest high schools in the country, and class sizes are usually around 40. When kids aren't hiding from or instigating ethnic conflict, they are LOST.
Strict consequences for misbehavior (including removal from setting) at both the classroom and school level. This provides a safe environment for the 99% of the kids who do want to learn.
Clear expectations honestly expressed to students - both at classroom level (what they need to do to be successful) and higher (such as passing high school exit exam).
Help with sorting out what to do with their future - more help with examining different career and educational possibilities to help them see a better future.
Teachers and administrators who really care about kids being successful - including the kids who don't look much like them. Who aren't looking to find somebody to blame, but want to take responsibility as a team to support kids.
A district office that is staffed by competent people who clearly communicate with teachers.
Enough textbooks for all kids - and good textbooks, with engaging format and information to spark critical thinking and creative expression.
Oh, the list could go on and on. Enough said.
posted by NOLA at 7:20 PM
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