in a bus in Cote d'Ivoire
I just called Fred and we talked pretty long (he has the cutest accent which isn't really Liberian). As he said at the end, when I thanked him for being such good friends to both Dayton and me, "Dayton is my friend, and you are my sister." It sounds cliche here, but I miss these deep relationships. I remember before I left, Emmanuel was making a big deal about how "Sometimes volunteers become much more than that - they [me] become family." Sometimes people go to the refugee camp and they get involved and have a good time, but then they leave and it becomes a memory. For me, it is a constant reality - and not just because of Dayton - I am enmeshed with the refugee settlement and Liberians in numerous ways.
I sometimes wish Fred and I could be in love instead - we would have so far fewer problems because of our communication and touch similarities. No, that's not true - Fred is an incorrigible flirt, and I would be jealous. Dayton doesn't even look at other women, and I appreciate that. (We still need to work out his jealousy issues - he has never said a thing about it, and he has never interfered with any friendship I have with men, but I have caught a couple clues and I don't want it to become an ugly green monster in him that explodes someday.)
Anyway, Fred told me that Dayton left a week ago for Ghana. At first I was upset that Dayton didn't call to tell me, but it fits in with his personality - he would know that I would worry so much about him traveling by bus through Cote d'Ivoire because of the violence there now. Heck, the UN Peacekeeping Forces are scared in Cote d'Ivoire and have no real authority. And, as Dayton would say, he is a man of action, not words, which is of course one reason I do love him - so many people there at camp (and everywhere) were talk, talk, talk and not do anything. So, in that framework, Dayton would want to contact me once he got to Ghana - not leaving me to perseverate on danger. And he did tell me that he wouldn't call again until he got to Ghana - but I didn't believe him I guess.
But now I'm perseverating. It's been a week and he's not back in Ghana. It's not that far. I don't think it can be much further than 1000 km (600 miles). Fred says it can easily take up to a week, but I thought when I talked to other people about it, usually it was more like 4 days.
Anyway, Fred told me what I knew - that Dayton was upset with me (and I with him), and that Dayton loves me very much. What I didn't know was how much they talk about me and our future (Dayton and mine - I don't plan to have deputy husbands). Dayton takes things for granted - assumes that telling me something once is enough.
Who knows what the future holds. I just hope Dayton makes it safely back to Ghana and things work out for him.
Unfortunately, plane ticket prices to Accra from LAX jacked up about $500 since the last time I checked. I'll keep scrounging around, but I may have to implement new austerity measures (reusing coffee filters, siphoning neighbors' gas, making my own soap) to afford that. Well, that's only 16 or so hours of "substituting" - I could maybe do that. And maybe I won't even kill any kids. "Listen up, you little delinquents - you're only here because I have a long-distance malaria-inducing booty call. Don't make me get hostile here."
Actually that, they would understand and appreciate. Their existences are all about sex. And of course I don't call them delinquents and don't think of them that way - that's for comic blog effect.
Two kids yesterday impressed me with their astuteness.
Before school, I was talking to campus security and they mentioned that my boy Ismael (the kid who was never in high school because he was locked up) skips class. Well, never my class of course - they like to torture me so they show up. In fact, yesterday, he showed up to to earlier classes, trying to skip his actual class to be in my classroom (trust me, my class is NOT that much fun that anybody would want to to do it twice a day - I was probably just the lesser of the evils, or he thought there was a sub again - but mostly, he wanted to check in with me because I had been gone). Which was the perfect opportunity to let him know that I'll be speaking to his PO (parole officer) about my concerns regarding his behavior. Boy, that stopped him cold and wiped the smug smirk off his face.
The astute part? When he came to class, he said that another teacher had told his PO that he was ditching class, and the PO said if anybody else said anything to her that he would be sent back to jail. So please, I shouldn't say anything or he would be locked up again.
"Well, Ismael, I hear what you're saying, but I'm not going to let you emotionally blackmail me here. I will tell your PO what I consider the truth, and I will hold you accountable for your actions, and we will have this conversation with all three of us present."
When it was clear I wasn't buying it, he changed tactics - and quietly and diligently did ALL work - then make-up work that he screwed around with before. I like those tactics.
Another girl, one of the substituted-for crowd, was putting on make-up when they were supposed to be doing homework for other classes. "Andi, could you make it look like you're doing work, please?" [I knew her because we had just given her a second chance based on her hopeful success in rehab.] "How much do I have to make it look like it?" [This girl is sharp!] "Um, have books open and pen out and don't spend the WHOLE period with the compact out." She complied and we were all happy.
Ah, illusions of compliance. That's all I ask.
And that my beloved not be killed in Cote d'Ivoire.
I sometimes wish Fred and I could be in love instead - we would have so far fewer problems because of our communication and touch similarities. No, that's not true - Fred is an incorrigible flirt, and I would be jealous. Dayton doesn't even look at other women, and I appreciate that. (We still need to work out his jealousy issues - he has never said a thing about it, and he has never interfered with any friendship I have with men, but I have caught a couple clues and I don't want it to become an ugly green monster in him that explodes someday.)
Anyway, Fred told me that Dayton left a week ago for Ghana. At first I was upset that Dayton didn't call to tell me, but it fits in with his personality - he would know that I would worry so much about him traveling by bus through Cote d'Ivoire because of the violence there now. Heck, the UN Peacekeeping Forces are scared in Cote d'Ivoire and have no real authority. And, as Dayton would say, he is a man of action, not words, which is of course one reason I do love him - so many people there at camp (and everywhere) were talk, talk, talk and not do anything. So, in that framework, Dayton would want to contact me once he got to Ghana - not leaving me to perseverate on danger. And he did tell me that he wouldn't call again until he got to Ghana - but I didn't believe him I guess.
But now I'm perseverating. It's been a week and he's not back in Ghana. It's not that far. I don't think it can be much further than 1000 km (600 miles). Fred says it can easily take up to a week, but I thought when I talked to other people about it, usually it was more like 4 days.
Anyway, Fred told me what I knew - that Dayton was upset with me (and I with him), and that Dayton loves me very much. What I didn't know was how much they talk about me and our future (Dayton and mine - I don't plan to have deputy husbands). Dayton takes things for granted - assumes that telling me something once is enough.
Who knows what the future holds. I just hope Dayton makes it safely back to Ghana and things work out for him.
Unfortunately, plane ticket prices to Accra from LAX jacked up about $500 since the last time I checked. I'll keep scrounging around, but I may have to implement new austerity measures (reusing coffee filters, siphoning neighbors' gas, making my own soap) to afford that. Well, that's only 16 or so hours of "substituting" - I could maybe do that. And maybe I won't even kill any kids. "Listen up, you little delinquents - you're only here because I have a long-distance malaria-inducing booty call. Don't make me get hostile here."
Actually that, they would understand and appreciate. Their existences are all about sex. And of course I don't call them delinquents and don't think of them that way - that's for comic blog effect.
Two kids yesterday impressed me with their astuteness.
Before school, I was talking to campus security and they mentioned that my boy Ismael (the kid who was never in high school because he was locked up) skips class. Well, never my class of course - they like to torture me so they show up. In fact, yesterday, he showed up to to earlier classes, trying to skip his actual class to be in my classroom (trust me, my class is NOT that much fun that anybody would want to to do it twice a day - I was probably just the lesser of the evils, or he thought there was a sub again - but mostly, he wanted to check in with me because I had been gone). Which was the perfect opportunity to let him know that I'll be speaking to his PO (parole officer) about my concerns regarding his behavior. Boy, that stopped him cold and wiped the smug smirk off his face.
The astute part? When he came to class, he said that another teacher had told his PO that he was ditching class, and the PO said if anybody else said anything to her that he would be sent back to jail. So please, I shouldn't say anything or he would be locked up again.
"Well, Ismael, I hear what you're saying, but I'm not going to let you emotionally blackmail me here. I will tell your PO what I consider the truth, and I will hold you accountable for your actions, and we will have this conversation with all three of us present."
When it was clear I wasn't buying it, he changed tactics - and quietly and diligently did ALL work - then make-up work that he screwed around with before. I like those tactics.
Another girl, one of the substituted-for crowd, was putting on make-up when they were supposed to be doing homework for other classes. "Andi, could you make it look like you're doing work, please?" [I knew her because we had just given her a second chance based on her hopeful success in rehab.] "How much do I have to make it look like it?" [This girl is sharp!] "Um, have books open and pen out and don't spend the WHOLE period with the compact out." She complied and we were all happy.
Ah, illusions of compliance. That's all I ask.
And that my beloved not be killed in Cote d'Ivoire.
posted by NOLA at 7:52 AM
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