detox

Last week:

Breakfast: orange juice, coffee (not good), eggs, bacon, potatoes, French toast w/syrup
Lunch: turkey & American cheese on white bread sandwich, chips, cookies, Snickers (for snack)
Supper: salad (not fresh iceberg), mixed vegs (boiled, with margarine?), lasagna, white roll
Dessert: cake

This week:
Breakfast: shredded wheat with skim milk (will be soy when this runs out), one cup excellent coffee
Lunch: salad (spinach, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, Persian cucumbers, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, Goddess dressing, chicken breast)
Supper: sweet potato (baked), banana, hummus w/whole wheat Naan, carrot-strawberry-tofu smoothie
Dessert: cocoa (organic, with skim milk) - it's chilly here!

OK, maybe last week's meals don't LOOK that bad - but trust me, they were. White bread in particular seems to really just wipe me out. All that sugar - it was icky. Therefore, I gained 5 pounds. Now I'm not dieting, just trying to feel better. I can't eat junk food any more - those days are over. It makes me feel icky, very icky.

Anyway, met with 2nd home instruction kid today, and he was a normal kid. Well, normal to me - strange yeah, but not aggressive and crazy. He's smart and worked hard and was enjoyable - as was his mother who said my Spanish is "muy bueno". Maybe I should start believing people when they say that - yesterday when I was making about 10 phone calls home during class to tell parents their kids were skipping, the looks on my students' faces = priceless. "Damn!" I heard them say, "She speaks really good! We can't never skip now." Which, I don't speak really good. I don't think. But, like the mom said today, she understood everything I was saying (and we were talking about all sorts of things) and I understood 95% of what she was saying. Knew lots of Spanish words the kid didn't.

Strangest comment today from a kid who just came back from a mental hospital: "You shouldn't be a teacher here. I mean that in a good way. You're too cool to be teaching here." This after I scolded his homophobia in the office.

Strangest comment yesterday from a co-worker I went to Aggressive Behavior Management Training with: "I miss spending time after school with you!" Why strange? Because the class wasn't fun. I also really enjoyed her company, but I still thought it funny how she said it. And she is the only Latina teacher and I actually respect her, so that was meaningful that she doesn't think I'm full of shit.

Strangest rant by me today, provoked by a kid calling himself a "nigga killa": "If you continue to let rich white men keep you hating Black people, then you will be stupid losers. As long as Black and Brown people and poor people in general don't work together, there will only be oppression and those evil guys are laughing their asses off. Don't be such an idiot."

Doctor didn't return my phone call. I'll try again tomorrow. The only time I can call is when she's at lunch. Loser. I woudl switch to a different doctor, but I think I'll switch to no doctor. I just want to know what's up with my tests that I already did.

VERY VERY STRANGE dreams last night - that I was sleeping in a house where we were gutting. Like, I laid down to sleep while we were gutting. So I kept waking up thinking (maybe shouting) "I'm here! don't hit there!" And I kept moving stuff and would wake up out of bed. It was SO REAL, it was creepy. Workfriend says it's repressed trauma from last week, and I agree. I mean, we just went in and did what needed to be done, helping people out who couldn't do it for themselves for physical and emotional reasons - but on some level it must have affected us as well. Maybe that's why I slept so poorly there last week. Hm ...