11 more Fridays
How on earth do I ever think that I will work a real job? I had to work until 4 pm today and it just about killed me.
OK, granted, I was there before 7:30 and had no break - but still! And I think I'm going to be some big-shot corporate lawyer working 70 hours a week? Please. At 1:30 pm each day, it's time for this gringa to head home. (Aztec boy has begun shouting my name across campus every time he sees me. And he pro-JECTS. It's embarrassing. But at least he calls me by my legal name and not "stupid Alaskan" or "white chick" or anything else I know he thinks of me. What I think I like most about him is that when he's alone or in a small group with me, he's a dickhead and we argue, but once we're in class he would never misbehave and he respects the authority of my position. Even though I'm a gringa.)
Today I paid $25.71 for the first college I attended, and very probably the worst college on the entire planet, to FedEx my transcript to the law school service. Why? Because when they sent it on August 2 it was never actually received, which I only learned yesterday.
I am hemorrhaging cash. It is ugly. So, Patriot Law School didn't charge me to apply, so I think of the $25.71 spent on that, and they damn well better accept me.
Good news? Principal said he'd sign approval for me to teach summer school. I need the cash if I'm traveling next year.
Bad news? I hate teaching. I am so grumpy. But, summer school would only be 5 weeks and it's very different - longer classes, more motivated kids. I've never had a bad summer school teaching experience.
Though I would rather be working at REI, but I make about 10 times more teaching. And if I'm accepted to Patriot Law School and decide to go, I'm taking off June 16, my last day of work. 11 more Fridays.
I emailed most excellent poli sci prof and asked him how many advisees he has - there's like one ABD every other year. Um, my former-advisor had 17 advisees? MEPSP would be a great advisor - I appreciate a man who replies promptly to my email and tells me where he goes skiing. In person we have really awkward conversations, but in email we have an almost friendliness.
Today I got in a conversation with sister-teacher-friend who is white and was married to a black man and has a son with him. So, I asked about it, the way people treat the kid and all that. And I referred to Dayton as "my fiance." Just because I didn't want to get into how I'm trying to break up with him. (What do you mean trying, I hear my alter ego protest. You do it or you don't, none of this wishy washy crap. Dump his sorry adulterous ass and move on. Why you still think of him as the father of your future children? Stupid bitch.)
I have to say, my kids remain great overall in the face of my criminal negligence about giving a shit. Oh, I care about them as people, but crafting brilliant lessons that engage them? Bah, humbug. Then I remind myself - I'm not teaching content, I'm teaching reading and writing, and that's hard for my kids. Very hard, or they wouldn't be my students. So of course they're going to complain, and being a bitch is probably the best response.
Junior Dick was not sent to the office today, and he said I make things hard for him. He actually had a conversation, and it wasn't about being a dick. He explained he likes to do things slowly, etc. Which, I know that I move quickly, but the real problem? The kids do things crappy. Seriously - they are crappy readers and writers or they wouldn't be my students - I have all the kids who have failed important exams. So, I make things hard because I have to unteach bad habits and reteach them, and they resist.
But despite some quirks and annoyances, they're actually good sports and don't try to ice me. Spitfire suggested a game to work on vocabulary (which included me buying candy, which I won't do on principle, but nice try).
If I were teaching content, I would feel guiltier about not using more interesting methods of presentation and projects and all that - but there's no shortcut to reading and writing. You have to actually do it a lot to get better at it, and if you're not good at it you're probably not going to enjoy it.
So, I beat myself up and acknowledge I'm a sucky teacher this year, but I probably don't suck as much as I think. About 80% of my kids were born in this country but haven't been able to demonstrate mastery of English after at least 11 years in school here. It's not like I give up when I think of those things, but it makes me remember that it's a heavy stone I'm pushing up that mountain, and it's ok if I don't make it all the way by myself.
OK, granted, I was there before 7:30 and had no break - but still! And I think I'm going to be some big-shot corporate lawyer working 70 hours a week? Please. At 1:30 pm each day, it's time for this gringa to head home. (Aztec boy has begun shouting my name across campus every time he sees me. And he pro-JECTS. It's embarrassing. But at least he calls me by my legal name and not "stupid Alaskan" or "white chick" or anything else I know he thinks of me. What I think I like most about him is that when he's alone or in a small group with me, he's a dickhead and we argue, but once we're in class he would never misbehave and he respects the authority of my position. Even though I'm a gringa.)
Today I paid $25.71 for the first college I attended, and very probably the worst college on the entire planet, to FedEx my transcript to the law school service. Why? Because when they sent it on August 2 it was never actually received, which I only learned yesterday.
I am hemorrhaging cash. It is ugly. So, Patriot Law School didn't charge me to apply, so I think of the $25.71 spent on that, and they damn well better accept me.
Good news? Principal said he'd sign approval for me to teach summer school. I need the cash if I'm traveling next year.
Bad news? I hate teaching. I am so grumpy. But, summer school would only be 5 weeks and it's very different - longer classes, more motivated kids. I've never had a bad summer school teaching experience.
Though I would rather be working at REI, but I make about 10 times more teaching. And if I'm accepted to Patriot Law School and decide to go, I'm taking off June 16, my last day of work. 11 more Fridays.
I emailed most excellent poli sci prof and asked him how many advisees he has - there's like one ABD every other year. Um, my former-advisor had 17 advisees? MEPSP would be a great advisor - I appreciate a man who replies promptly to my email and tells me where he goes skiing. In person we have really awkward conversations, but in email we have an almost friendliness.
Today I got in a conversation with sister-teacher-friend who is white and was married to a black man and has a son with him. So, I asked about it, the way people treat the kid and all that. And I referred to Dayton as "my fiance." Just because I didn't want to get into how I'm trying to break up with him. (What do you mean trying, I hear my alter ego protest. You do it or you don't, none of this wishy washy crap. Dump his sorry adulterous ass and move on. Why you still think of him as the father of your future children? Stupid bitch.)
I have to say, my kids remain great overall in the face of my criminal negligence about giving a shit. Oh, I care about them as people, but crafting brilliant lessons that engage them? Bah, humbug. Then I remind myself - I'm not teaching content, I'm teaching reading and writing, and that's hard for my kids. Very hard, or they wouldn't be my students. So of course they're going to complain, and being a bitch is probably the best response.
Junior Dick was not sent to the office today, and he said I make things hard for him. He actually had a conversation, and it wasn't about being a dick. He explained he likes to do things slowly, etc. Which, I know that I move quickly, but the real problem? The kids do things crappy. Seriously - they are crappy readers and writers or they wouldn't be my students - I have all the kids who have failed important exams. So, I make things hard because I have to unteach bad habits and reteach them, and they resist.
But despite some quirks and annoyances, they're actually good sports and don't try to ice me. Spitfire suggested a game to work on vocabulary (which included me buying candy, which I won't do on principle, but nice try).
If I were teaching content, I would feel guiltier about not using more interesting methods of presentation and projects and all that - but there's no shortcut to reading and writing. You have to actually do it a lot to get better at it, and if you're not good at it you're probably not going to enjoy it.
So, I beat myself up and acknowledge I'm a sucky teacher this year, but I probably don't suck as much as I think. About 80% of my kids were born in this country but haven't been able to demonstrate mastery of English after at least 11 years in school here. It's not like I give up when I think of those things, but it makes me remember that it's a heavy stone I'm pushing up that mountain, and it's ok if I don't make it all the way by myself.
posted by NOLA at 7:18 PM
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