LSAT trauma, response for Gail
To respond to Gail (Gummy), I'll write of my LSAT adventures though they are not related to MEEWT.
Everything was going so, so well - I found the testing place easily, I was in a great mood, and then I got assigned a table that had a comfy chair even. Life was good, I was going to kick LSAT ass. A woman was assigned to sit beside me, she was friendly, we chatted. A great day. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming - all was good.
And then darkness struck. This friendly woman READS ALOUD. Section one for me was Reading Comprehension - usually my very best section; I usually miss very few in practice. But it requires focus, as the passages are about a half page long and the questions not usually obvious - rely more on inference. Which takes concentration. Which I could not do with her muttering right beside me.
I didn't know what to do. First, it took me quite some time to figure out what was going on, and I was looking around (losing time), trying to not look like a cheater. Then, I tried clearing my throat a few times. Then I even said "shh!" twice. Nothing worked. It was a dilemma. If I tell her to stop talking, I run the risk of being accused of cheating by proctors, plus I'll disturb others around. And it probably wouldn't make her stop - either she was doing this unconsciously, or it was so important to her process that she would continue anyway. If I moved, it would disturb others; and most people need every minute on every section.
By then, time was short (35 minutes for about 26 questions plus the reading, and I'd had to skip most the questions the first time through). I felt this panic - good grief, should I cancel my scores? But I can't retake the test later because I'll be out of the country and not near a testing center.
So, I guessed on almost all of them. I could do the obvious questions and guessed on the rest, and was quite upset. As soon as that section was over I told the proctor I had to move and why, and she recorded that on the information going to the testing service.
I sat next to somebody - didn't look at them really, just sat down and apologized. Then was section 2, the logical reasoning section, which is my least favorite. And I was still upset, wondering if I should cancel my scores. I appreciated the quiet, but was not at my logical best. Section 3 was another logical reasoning section (they have two of those), and I was annoyed with that section, but more focused. Section 4 was another logical reasoning (one of 2, 3, or 4 was a section they test and norm and then run as part of the test later) , and it seemed really, really easy. So, maybe it was good that I got stuck with three sections in a row and I got better, and hopefully the two I happened to do best on are the ones that are counted. Section 5 was the "puzzles" section, and I FINISHED in the time allowed! Woohoo! I took several answers that I thought were right rather than taking the time to fully check them out, so I probably missed a few, but I actually did all of them, and that was my personal goal - all the practice really paid off. Then was the writing section, which seemed pretty straight-forward hopefully.
The test took longer than I expected and I didn't make it to the last session of my "Theory and Research in Schooling and Social Inequality" class, which bummed me out. I liked that class and I learned a lot. Plus, I always talked a lot in that class and that would have helped me focus on things other than LSAT. Academic discussion as salve?
The best part of the day, besides doing ok on the puzzles and being finished, was the person I sat next to when I moved - Moises, a Korean-Brazilian who speaks flawless American English. We had enjoyable conversations, and he was so very, very kind. He shared his timer with me, which was more helpful than I'd expected, and apologized for shaking the table when erasing, and we talked about Sao Paulo and Brazil (where he says I MUST go) and Alaskan winter darkness, and he was just really nice. He reminded me a little of James, my roommate from this summer whom I was fond of. And he used the word "homeostasis" correctly in conversation and had a pretty green Brazilian passport. OK, at that point of the day, I was just actively seeking a silver lining and was going to find something positive to get me over my frustration about the beginning, but I'm glad Moises was there to oblige.
So, there is my long response, Gail. I'm sure that the pencil bag you gave me which I kept on my desk was what got Moises to speak with me - you know, that I'm in touch with my inner-Asian, for the world to see! :-)
And now, I have today to finish a very important paper - for my qualitative methodology course. I have a splitting headache which will hopefully go away with more coffee. The paper is supposed to be around 20 pages ... and I'm on page 36 and not finished. So today will be citing more theory succinctly and hacking out large passages, which makes me very sad. I really like this paper from my field research - it's about the dilemma-managing culture of teaching, including responses to standardization and NCLB. I really liked doing my field research - it was a very positive experience in a positive place. But I still know that I don't want to do qualitative research for the rest of my career. It's like teaching - I love doing it, but it's not what I want to do forever. It's like the beginning of a Nina Simone song: "Gotta lot of living to do before I die; ain't got no time to waste." So many different things to do in this lifetime!
So, the lesson of yesterday? First, I learned that I am resilient. Things can bother me but I get over them - it's a story now, not an injury. Secondly, it was humbling. I ain't all that - a little distraction can make my intellect crumble - and just because I'm prepared and ready doesn't mean things will happen well. Thirdly, I put my faith in the universe. If I'm meant to lawyer, then things will work out and that will happen. If not, then that's ok and I accept that. Fourthly, there are really kind, cool people out there in the world that I don't know yet. Who was it that said a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet?
Everything was going so, so well - I found the testing place easily, I was in a great mood, and then I got assigned a table that had a comfy chair even. Life was good, I was going to kick LSAT ass. A woman was assigned to sit beside me, she was friendly, we chatted. A great day. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming - all was good.
And then darkness struck. This friendly woman READS ALOUD. Section one for me was Reading Comprehension - usually my very best section; I usually miss very few in practice. But it requires focus, as the passages are about a half page long and the questions not usually obvious - rely more on inference. Which takes concentration. Which I could not do with her muttering right beside me.
I didn't know what to do. First, it took me quite some time to figure out what was going on, and I was looking around (losing time), trying to not look like a cheater. Then, I tried clearing my throat a few times. Then I even said "shh!" twice. Nothing worked. It was a dilemma. If I tell her to stop talking, I run the risk of being accused of cheating by proctors, plus I'll disturb others around. And it probably wouldn't make her stop - either she was doing this unconsciously, or it was so important to her process that she would continue anyway. If I moved, it would disturb others; and most people need every minute on every section.
By then, time was short (35 minutes for about 26 questions plus the reading, and I'd had to skip most the questions the first time through). I felt this panic - good grief, should I cancel my scores? But I can't retake the test later because I'll be out of the country and not near a testing center.
So, I guessed on almost all of them. I could do the obvious questions and guessed on the rest, and was quite upset. As soon as that section was over I told the proctor I had to move and why, and she recorded that on the information going to the testing service.
I sat next to somebody - didn't look at them really, just sat down and apologized. Then was section 2, the logical reasoning section, which is my least favorite. And I was still upset, wondering if I should cancel my scores. I appreciated the quiet, but was not at my logical best. Section 3 was another logical reasoning section (they have two of those), and I was annoyed with that section, but more focused. Section 4 was another logical reasoning (one of 2, 3, or 4 was a section they test and norm and then run as part of the test later) , and it seemed really, really easy. So, maybe it was good that I got stuck with three sections in a row and I got better, and hopefully the two I happened to do best on are the ones that are counted. Section 5 was the "puzzles" section, and I FINISHED in the time allowed! Woohoo! I took several answers that I thought were right rather than taking the time to fully check them out, so I probably missed a few, but I actually did all of them, and that was my personal goal - all the practice really paid off. Then was the writing section, which seemed pretty straight-forward hopefully.
The test took longer than I expected and I didn't make it to the last session of my "Theory and Research in Schooling and Social Inequality" class, which bummed me out. I liked that class and I learned a lot. Plus, I always talked a lot in that class and that would have helped me focus on things other than LSAT. Academic discussion as salve?
The best part of the day, besides doing ok on the puzzles and being finished, was the person I sat next to when I moved - Moises, a Korean-Brazilian who speaks flawless American English. We had enjoyable conversations, and he was so very, very kind. He shared his timer with me, which was more helpful than I'd expected, and apologized for shaking the table when erasing, and we talked about Sao Paulo and Brazil (where he says I MUST go) and Alaskan winter darkness, and he was just really nice. He reminded me a little of James, my roommate from this summer whom I was fond of. And he used the word "homeostasis" correctly in conversation and had a pretty green Brazilian passport. OK, at that point of the day, I was just actively seeking a silver lining and was going to find something positive to get me over my frustration about the beginning, but I'm glad Moises was there to oblige.
So, there is my long response, Gail. I'm sure that the pencil bag you gave me which I kept on my desk was what got Moises to speak with me - you know, that I'm in touch with my inner-Asian, for the world to see! :-)
And now, I have today to finish a very important paper - for my qualitative methodology course. I have a splitting headache which will hopefully go away with more coffee. The paper is supposed to be around 20 pages ... and I'm on page 36 and not finished. So today will be citing more theory succinctly and hacking out large passages, which makes me very sad. I really like this paper from my field research - it's about the dilemma-managing culture of teaching, including responses to standardization and NCLB. I really liked doing my field research - it was a very positive experience in a positive place. But I still know that I don't want to do qualitative research for the rest of my career. It's like teaching - I love doing it, but it's not what I want to do forever. It's like the beginning of a Nina Simone song: "Gotta lot of living to do before I die; ain't got no time to waste." So many different things to do in this lifetime!
So, the lesson of yesterday? First, I learned that I am resilient. Things can bother me but I get over them - it's a story now, not an injury. Secondly, it was humbling. I ain't all that - a little distraction can make my intellect crumble - and just because I'm prepared and ready doesn't mean things will happen well. Thirdly, I put my faith in the universe. If I'm meant to lawyer, then things will work out and that will happen. If not, then that's ok and I accept that. Fourthly, there are really kind, cool people out there in the world that I don't know yet. Who was it that said a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet?
posted by NOLA at 7:04 AM
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